Finally, a Diagnosis!

It's been a long road to diagnosis, but I am thrilled to be here. Tears of happiness poured out of my eyes when my doctor confirmed the diagnosis.  But let's travel back for a second. 

I've been troubled with stomach issues for at least ten years. The first bout of problems happened around my brother's wedding. I remember a group of us went to Las Vegas after the wedding, and I spent a chunk of that trip in my hotel room with stomach discomfort. From then on, I would have alternating months of feeling fine with other months feeling awful. Sometimes the problems lasted for years before I started to feel a semblance of normalcy. But the pain always returned. 

I saw a few GI doctors here and there, most of whom diagnosed me with IBS and sent me on my way. No one ever thought to test my blood for food allergies, much less Celiac Disease. 

Recently, the problems returned with a vengeance and I was no longer willing to accept IBS as a diagnosis. IBS is a true disorder, but only when you've eliminated several other things. I hadn't had those eliminations yet. In doing research for possible causes, I stumbled upon Celiac disease and everything seemed to match up. Many of the symptoms listed matched how I was feeling. 

Around that same time, my general practitioner ordered regular blood work, this time with an allergy profile. The results showed a wheat allergy, so I began to cut wheat from my diet.  I saw a GI who had me tested for Celiac. All the paperwork indicated I had it, but the doctor said there was no way I did. 

I was confused and needing answers. She didn't have time to help me, so I made an appointment with yet another GI. He confirmed my suspicions in minutes of my consultation. I had Celiac. I have Celiac. 

It's been 10 years of not feeling well. So upon hearing this news, I cried. But these were happy tears, because it's not in my head and I finally have something to work with.  I can feel better. It may take work, but I'm on the right path. 

And once again, I've self diagnosed accurately! 

If you're reading this and you want more detailed information, I'm happy to share. If my troublesome journey can help light the way of your journey, I'm an open book, so please ask.

2013 Year in Review

It was a huge year for the Liefermans. Most of the highlights center around our wedding and the events that surrounded it, but there were a few other goodies in there as well.

The year kicked off with lots of wedding planning. To start, our lovely photographers, Adam & Laura, scheduled us an engagement shoot to get us comfortable in front of the camera. I adore this set of photos they took, and I'll cherish them forever.

 

 We celebrated Doug's 33rd birthday with a big group of friends at a great hamburger restaurant in Redondo Beach.  

I was a lucky girl, I had three wonderful bridal showers thrown for me.

My friend Tania coordinated a very fun bachelorette weekend for the girls (+1 boy) so it was off to Vegas we went. Lots of pool side lounging, delicious food, and of course, gambling!One of my favorite memories of the trip is taking the photo below, only because it made us all laugh hysterically. Tania first chose the world's oldest person to try to figure out how to manipulate an iphone camera. When that failed, she chased down a young boy to do it, which was equally entertaining and odd. In the end, we got a great picture, so it was worth it. 

I somehow managed to lose a lot of weight right before the wedding. Here's one of the pictures I found, which really motivates me to get into better shape again. Without the impending stress of a wedding and wedding photos, I gained a lot of weight back the second half of the year. 

After a bit more planning, the wedding was upon us. We celebrated the night before with a great dinner at Roman Cucina after the rehearsal itself. It was a nice night and it allowed Doug and I to really talk to more people one on one. Here's Jessica and me in matching outfits the day before the wedding. 

And then the big day arrived. It went so fast, with all the getting ready and photos, and then suddenly it was gone. I had a blast. We picked the best location for a wedding, The Summit House - the food, the decor, the service. I couldn't have chosen a better place to marry my love.  

After the wedding, we had one day to pack and then it was off to Ireland. It's hard to sum up the trip in words, so I'll use pictures. It was a two week adventure around the island in a rental car. 

When we returned from our trip, I was antsy to begin our search for a new home. We went to see lots of homes, but nothing clicked. The search continued.  

We took a mini trip out to Palm Springs. Doug had to work, so I took a day off at the office and joined him for some fun in the sun. Of course we had to gamble, and I got really lucky and won $1000 on a poker machine. 

And then it happened. Somehow the universe presented us a house we loved and everything fell into place. We made an offer, and the house was ours! 

Moving presented a bit of a problem. We lived in Aliso Viejo, but my work was in Long Beach. Not one to commute, I decided to leave my job and find something closer to home. It was bittersweet - leaving a place I had worked for four years, and not seeing my friend on a daily basis. But in the end, it was time for a change and I'm ready for the next big adventure that awaits me, whatever that may be. Here's a photo of Tania and me at my farewell lunch. 

To commemorate our big move and my 33rd birthday, we had a big party at the house in November. We rented a karaoke machine and lots of family and friends came. It was a really nice night.  But I couldn't find any photos :)

Finally, to ring in the new year, we had some friends over for a quiet night in, with drinks, dinner, and games. 

2014 is here and everything is great. 2013 was a year of change, of finding my footing and learning more about who I am, and not accepting things, either about myself, or others, that I easily did in the past. It was a year of growth. I can't wait to see what 2014 holds for us! 

Self-Love

I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin. As a child, I was stuck hiding behind glasses, relying on Barbie for moral support, and using humor as a crutch in difficult situations.  As a 33 year old, not much has changed. I was lucky enough to get Lasik surgery so the glasses disappeared, but I’m the same awkward person now that I was as an adolescent.  

When we grow up, much of our self-worth is calculated by others around us. We lean on our parents to give us guidance and keep us informed of how much we are loved. Our siblings are our first friends. They teach us how to unconditionally love, even if they stole our toys or got away with so much more because they were older. They were always there. As we grow up, our friends get added to that support system. It’s their job to constructively criticize us, from our actions, to relationship opinions, to advise that we really shouldn’t substitute Payless shoes for the real thing, but will love us anyways, even if we do. 

Without family and friends around, it’s hard to garner self-love. Having self-esteem isn’t innate. You’re not born with it. The circumstances around you determine how confident you are as a person. 

Every action is a direct result of every other action that preceded it.  If you don’t know where you’re coming from, how do you really know where you are going? It’s important to look back on all of the experiences that have shaped us. I don’t know why I have low self-esteem. I know I put up with a lot, and sometimes question my self-worth because of how I am treated.  I apologize for things that are not my fault.  And I value myself based on the opinions of others.  This isn’t healthy. But every day is a battle and I am a warrior. I look back at the wars I have fought internally and externally. I’m not always proud of the outcome but I think having a critical rearview eye helps.  

These days I’m trying to find my footing and surround myself with people who want the best for me. It’s not always easy. Standing my ground hasn’t always been my strong point, but I find it’s getting easier with age.  I have less time for situations where I am not appreciated, cherished or, at the very least, simply respected.

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to love myself the best I can. 

The Spirit of Thanksgiving

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I figured there was no better way to kick off my blog than a post highlighting all that I am thankful for. Here goes! 

I am thankful for my nephews Brandon, Zac, and niece Allison. Sadly, this was the only photo I could think of with all of us together, and it was so long ago.  I love their youth, how everything they do is fun and new. Their presence is a light in our family's world.  I love these kids. 

I give thanks to my house. I love my house. The dark wood, the spacious kitchen, the fact that there's room for everything. I am loving decorating my office, which I am sure will be a future blog post.   Our home is situated in lovely Aliso Viejo, but so close to the canyon. I used to drive that canyon when I was in my teens, and I would marvel at it's beauty. It used to be my favorite drive in Orange County. It still is, and I get to drive it on a daily basis.  I also love that my house is a bit removed from the "downtown" area of Aliso Viejo. It's such a beautiful area, with so many trees. I like that I can coast along it's many streets with few stoplights. I do not miss the consistent stoplights on PCH where I used to live! 

I am grateful to have a supportive brother and mother. They understand me in ways no one else can. They accept me fully, in spite of my neuroses. I guess they have no choice! I'm so glad we all live so close to each other. 

Finally, I give thanks to my husband, my best friend, my confidant, my rock - Doug aka Poop Face.  I thank him for allowing me to be crazy, for letting me yell at him when Dream Doug does unacceptable things (and I hold it against non-Dream Doug). I love that you make me laugh, you tickle me, you hold my hand. I love that I fake demanded you to go buy me something for my office, and you did it, even though I wasn't serious.  I love that you supported me when I decided to find a job for which I could be passionate. I'm so glad we are exploring this world together.   I can't wait for what lies ahead for us -- Ziggy, children, travels, and whatever else comes our way! 

I have a lot more that I am thankful for. I guess that will be blog #2!